Love is a cure...

For starters, its been quite a while since I've updated or bothered to post anything, but I have missed this and writing has been on my mind for quite a while now. Since I've been gone I still have had my fair share of ups and downs but things are changing for the better. I may not have had a jam packed summer like I did last year, but it was still delightful. I've stated seeing my therapist less and less, we've gone from once a week to once a month. Even though I do miss having someone help me figure out my problems with me, I like the fact that I can deal with stuff on my own now. I have gotten a new foot tattoo, I got an Avenged Sevenfold deathbat on my left foot, not the original but slightly different. I got pit tickets to see Avenged Sevenfold, and honestly it was one of the most happiest times of my existence. I also got to see Halestrom, Volbeat, Blink 182, 30 Seconds to Mars, Weezer, Jimmy Eat World, H.I.M., and The Offspring. Musically this summer has been a dream come true.

But the biggest change in my life, was Him. My boyfriend and as far as I am convinced soul mate. Honestly, if at first I don't like someone or feel uncomfortable with them I cut them out of my life. But with him I couldn't ever do it, something made me want to stay and see where this friendship was taking us. One fateful night in July, changed everything. I won't go into any gruesome details, but I got super wasted and basically blacked out. Honestly, I don't remember 5 hours of that night. At the end of the day he took care of me and that made me realize, no one would ever do that for me unless they really loved me. As of today we are 4 months into our relationship and I have never been happier. Other than one of my best friends who I've known since Kindergarten, he knows all of my secrets and all of my flaws. Not even my therapist who I've known longer knows absolutely everything like he does. Like all the things I hold in a precious place, I keep him safe with me. I'm not ready to share him with the world yet, I want to keep him safe where no one will hurt him, but most of all I don't want to share our close and intimate details with the world, My relationship with him, should be based on just me and him, and I plan to keep it that way by not over sharing details.

I've noticed my depression has somehow cured itself with the happiness he brings me, of I got off my anti-depressants I would hardly notice since I don't think I need them. Suicide has barely crossed my mind, because with him I see a future. I do still think about cutting, but I tell myself not to be selfish, if I hurt myself  I will hurt him. Love has become my cure to depression, maybe its the early stages of love setting in, but I am going to embrace it and hold hands with him on my way to recovery.